Ask Cowboys Defensive Coordinator Mike Zimmer, who unexpectedly lost his beautiful wife to natural causes in 2009 at age 50, how to master challenges like the sudden death of a spouse.
Ask him how he coped when he got a phone call that his son and best friend, a talented NFL coach himself, was found dead on his couch alone in his apartment at age 38.
The sudden death of a spouse or a child ranks number one as life’s most significant stressor.
Ask Coach Zimmer how football, the game he loves, knows, and coaches is a metaphor for handling life’s toughest challenges.
Catastrophe check 1: Focus on the present
The Dallas Morning News ran the riveting story of Mike Zimmer’s family losses on the first Sunday of the Fall football season 2024.
I read it three times, allowing the intensity to soak in.
How did he handle this? How would I handle this?
The same way he coaches his defensive line.
Men, you are facing a fierce opponent, but you are not playing them over one, two, three, or four quarters. You are playing a series of games that last only 5 seconds. Can you give me your best over 5 seconds?
Life’s most brutal challenges exist only in the moment we are in.
Each moment gives way to the next, holding the promise of . . .
- insight
- strength
- direction
Catastrophe check 2: Challenges and seconds
Like life’s toughest challenges, football is won in small increments.
It’s a game of 60 downs, each lasting, on average, 5 seconds.
- 60 downs is only 5 minutes for one game
- A 12-game season is 1 hour of playing time
- A 4-year career is 4 hours of playing time
Take each challenge like a football play of 5 seconds, nothing more.
Each play is over in 5 seconds. You can face it one play at a time.
Facing challenges 5 seconds at a time narrows the scope.
Catastrophe check 3: Focus on lifelong preparation
Crises are faced and handled by lifelong preparation.
For example, an average NFL game only contains 11 minutes of actual play.
Football, like life, evolves around crises.
It’s not a constant fight.
Preparation in long practices determines the outcome, while the actual battle lasts only a few seconds.
When a crisis arrives via phone call, email, or announcement, that impact is met with the preparation put together over days and years . . .
- in emotional maturity
- in spiritual maturity
- in nolens volens
Catastrophe check 4: Nolens volens
Nolens volens is a Latin term often referred to by Abraham Lincoln in his letters.
In a letter to his good friend Joshua Speed in 1842, Lincoln talked about his perseverance as nolens volens, “whether willing or unwilling.”
He met and succeeded over many challenges no matter how much discipline was required.
“Success was predicated on survival, and this meant learning to cope with what comes, nolens volens, whether willing or unwilling.” Douglas L. Wilson, Honor’s Voice: The Transformation of Abraham Lincoln, p. 309
Whether willing or unwilling. Lincoln did it. Mike Zimmer does it.
You and I can do it together.
What’s your overcoming motto?
Steve, I’m going to be thinking about this for a long time. Thank you.
Thank you Christine. I am too.
Steve – Appreciate learning about the term – Nolens volens
There’s something potent about the sound and meaning isn’t there? Great to hear from you Jeff.
Wow Steve… what a post! I don’t know how you do this over and over … but I am inspired and challenged repeatedly by your writing.
Thank you
Rachael
Thank you for those encouraging words Rachael. We are all on pilgrimage together and it sure helps when we see each other and reach out with lifting words. That’s my goal with the blog and your comment is a blessing.