Nothing like being a father.
I always knew Father’s Day was coming when Jack was little, because he would ask me what size cologne I wear.
When I was raising teenagers, I had a satellite TV, a smartphone and a laptop and my kids told me I was out of touch.
Somebody said a father is a man with pictures in his wallet, where his money used to be.
Jokes aside, fathers are the ones we consult when unnatural disasters like war or mass shootings shake the world.
Since the Ukraine and Gaza wars are rattling our souls, I thought it appropriate to share my dad’s old school advice for surviving chaos.
All his tips came on a filming trip to San Antonio by dad’s childhood landmarks.
Old school tip #1: Pain is temporary
Pain is a passageway not a destination.
This nugget dropped when dad showed me his beautiful childhood home in the Highland Park neighborhood of San Antonio.
Happy years greeted dad early in life with a happy family in a storybook neighborhood.
But, the next stop on our video tour was a dramatic change.
A tiny one room apartment after dad’s . . .
- parents got divorced
- father lost his job
“Son, I came to this little apartment one day and the door was locked. So, I broke in. Mamaw (my grandmother’s token name) had the gas heater on.”
Dad was 11 when he rescued his mother from suicide and he grew up fast playing a big role in helping her get back on her feet.
Later, she was the model mother and grandmother our whole family adored.
Dad saw his mother’s crisis as a moment, not a destination.
Old school tip #2: Define by actions
My father’s character always came through not by what he said, but by what he did. Circumstances never changed that.
By nature, Claude Blaising, was the most unselfish human being I’ve ever known. That’s just how he was. I don’t know if he ever read or heard the term “positive reinforcement.” It’s a fine term. Claude Blaising was a positive reinforcer and didn’t know it.
He didn’t write articles, although he wrote many letters to his mother during the war.
He was a futurist in terms of his attitude. That didn’t mean he excused everything that happened in the past or fail to call something by its right name. He would do that.
And then he’d say, “let’s go on,” “never look back,” “shake it off,” or “take the next step.”
Old school tip #3: Be an overcomer
When dad asked me to take this trip to San Antonio, it was his way of saying, “come and see.”
Come and see the traumas and delights of my past Steve, because you’ll overcome if you . . .
- finish what you start
- love unconditionally
An overcomer finishes.
Doesn’t matter if a war is going on or a family member is imploding.
Stand firm. Be on point with principles. Do everything in love. Finish.
What’s a favorite lesson from your father?