The best thing I ever did for my relationship with mother was write a tribute letter and read it to her in front of our whole family.
That moment sealed a reconciliation that occurred twenty years earlier on a three hour drive from San Antonio to Waco.
Mother had many great qualities.
But, the tough nut to swallow growing up was her volatile temper toward my father and the rest of us.
Unforgiveness locked my spirit for years.
But, a liberating action on both our parts broke the logjam of hurt and set us free for the best relationship in the years ahead.
Here’s how the drive unfolded.
Life-changing drive
Back and forth, we spilled emotions asking . . .
- why this?
- how could you?
- where did that come from?
We were going at it like killing snakes.
Somehow, both of us listened in between the hissing.
When I dropped her off, we stood outside the car and embraced for the longest time in tears.
Life-changing forgiveness
Freedom and joy flooded my soul because for the first time, we understood each other.
Years of pain evaporated in that embrace.
Shortly after, I learned about the idea of writing a tribute letter to your parents.
It’s quite uncomfortable to test forgiveness in a homage letter.
I focused on what . . .
- I appreciated about her values
- I admired in her character
- I received from her leadership
My goal was to read it to her in front of my siblings and all the grandchildren.
That happened on Christmas day 2008.
Tribute letter to mother
I wanted everyone in our family to know how much I benefited as a son of Mildred Blaising.
After the reading, I gave her a framed copy and she hung it on her living room wall.
A tribute letter could be the best gift you ever present to your mother.
Don’t wait until Christmas. Do it on Mother’s Day.
Whether she is alive or not, your children and grandchildren will be blessed.
Do you have written letters to or from your mother?
Blazer!
Outstanding post my friend! There is nothing I can add. Brilliant.
Todd
Thank you Todd. Wonderful to hear from you!
Every holiday and sometimes between when the moment or memory moved me. Both my parents are now gone, and those letters are a lasting source of warmth and marks of the love, time and great family history.
Steve, it’s great to hear you captured those moments in writing. Your children and grandchildren will thank you forever!