I still can’t believe that Trey Carlock, a child sex abuse victim filled with shame, drove his father’s boat at high speed in the middle of the night, crashing into my Lake Athens boat dock.
Shortly before, my oldest daughter, Lizzy, and I lounged right at the point of impact.
I have often reflected on that night, August 11, 2015.
My father always said, “Son, nothing good happens after midnight.”
In my sleep, I heard what I thought was an explosion.
But, the idea was so farfetched that I ignored the sound as a bad dream.
Nothing prepared me for what I saw the following day.
A young college grad, Trey Carlock, and his girlfriend drove his father’s boat into my dock.
The heavy rubber trex decking was blown right off the dock frame. Boat shards everywhere.
The lounging chairs Lizzy and I sat on minutes before were blown to the back of the dock.
Bodies? Didn’t see any.
The video below suggests he was headed straight into the back of my new Bennington pontoon boat and turned at the last second, striking the corner post of my dock.
My dock is not a destination point at Lake Athens, so boat traffic has no reason to visit it.
I called the Lake Patrol. They jumped into the water as soon as they arrived, searching for bodies. The driver had strangely disappeared along with the boat.
And then the sheriff’s phone rings.
Somebody is calling to report a blown-out ski boat washed up on the shore across the lake.
“What?” he winced. “We’re on the way.”
With that, he took off with his deputy and said, “We’ll call you later, Mr. Blaising.”
When shame pilots your boat
Hours later, the sheriff called, “We found them at his parent’s lake house. What do you want me to do?” “I’m on the way,” I said, running out the door and driving to the sheriff’s office.
I walked in, and there was Trey Carlock with a long bloody gash across his forehead, sitting next to his girlfriend.
He was contrite and apologetic. When I asked how he could drive his father’s high-speed boat into my dock, he didn’t respond.
I learned he studied at Harvard and MIT and was a Fellow of the Trinity Forum Academy in Osprey Point, Maryland. Only the brightest and most promising students are accepted each year for a nine-month program to study “Life’s greatest questions in the context of faith.”
Why did such a promising young man drive his dad’s ski boat at high speed into a completely out-of-the-way location on a lake he knew better than any school subject?
The short answer is shame.
Lunch with Trey Carlock at the Park City Club
So, weeks later, I called Trey and invited him to lunch.
He accepted, and we dined for almost two hours at the Park City Club, which has a beautiful view of the Dallas skyline. It was a great space to take a break from the insanity of life, relax, and talk. I wanted to know what was happening in his life. Why the gloom with such a promising future?
He shared a little about his sexual abuse as a kid at the summer camp, Kanakuk.
Trey was horribly sexually abused by a Kanukuk camp counselor, Pete Newman, who is now incarcerated at the Jefferson City Correctional Center.
He said he didn’t know if there was a God with all this shame.
I looked at Trey, and I said, “One of the founders of Christianity was in so much pain that he despaired of life. But he found a path to survive and even thrive.”
So, I shared the following words written by the Apostle Paul.
“We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But, this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers.” 2 Corinthians 1: 8-10
Right after I quoted, “Indeed, in our hearts, we felt the sentence of death,” Trey looked at me and said, “I feel that way all the time.”
We sat there in silence.
After lunch, we stood up and hugged.
A sad ending to a promising life
I texted him over the following months, trying to stay in touch.
But I never heard from him again.
Four years after that lunch, I sat on my dock reading the Dallas Morning News digital edition (8/11/19) and saw his obituary.
I cried and pondered the pain and loss of such a promising life.
Now, I know more since his sister Elizabeth shared her perspective about Trey’s sexual abuse in D Magazine.
Her story is headlined on the March 2025 cover.
Shame can choke the future if you let it.
Here are two ways out.
#1 Be enchanted with meaningful relationships
No matter what happens to you, you can still choose to live a whole life. Why?
Because I believe no one really wants to depart this life unless they are very ill or in incurable pain.
Most folks want to live. Why?
To find completion. Whether it’s a loving family or loving friends, we want to complete our relationships.
A big step away from despair is a determination to complete the most critical relationships in our lives, no matter what happened in the past.
And that begins with finding a safe place to share the dark tragedies in your life.
A good therapist plays a significant role here.
And then, don’t give up on God.
#2 Be enchanted with God in a disenchanted world
Modern society’s chronic depression is exacerbated by slamming the door on God.
And when God is out of your world, it’s just you and the limits of your viewpoint.
University professors, journalists, and Hollywood producers are today’s “reality police.”
- Anything appealed to beyond this natural world is labeled “unscientific” or “inoperative.”
- There is nothing more to reality than matter.
- There is no deep story and meaning that colors or governs the universe.
And so the minds of our youngest are welded into a steel trap of naturalistic pessimism.
Ironically, Trey was studying the link between the brain and happiness shortly before he took his life.
Disenchantment is the prevailing mood when the only enjoyment and meaning in life is sex, alcohol, sugar, money, or fame.
This viewpoint’s heart is Darwinism, which insists that we come from caves.
But theism sees mankind’s image from the heavens as shown by. . .
- the propensity for order and justice
- the worldwide propensity for good over evil
- the unconquerable propensity to hope
- the universal propensity for morality and beauty
Even amidst despair, beauty is God’s message that He is here to rescue us from shame.