From Stinky to Beautiful Marriage in Three Glorious Steps

How would you grade your marriage on a scale of 1 to 10?

How would your partner grade it?

Beautiful? Stinky? OK?

You and I were created for . . .

• beautiful relationships
• beautiful connections
• beautiful times

What is beautiful?

To be safe, seen and soothed.

But, evil surrounds us in a suffering world.

I see a lot of folks getting in and out of stinky relationships.

And the common denominator of being stuck in stank is the loss of beauty.

Three glorious steps take us forward to a beautiful marriage.

1. Safety makes a beautiful marriage

Like a plant that needs water, marriage craves safety.

Trust is safety. Safety is trust.

No trust, no safety.

It turns out that the force that threatens our safety is us.

We repeat destructive activity exploiting us and hurting others.

Safety means saying no to our addictions like . . .

• sex idolatry
• food idolatry
• money idolatry
• revenge and anger
• alcohol or drug abuse

Perhaps there’s no harder work than saying “no” to out-of-bounds desires and their endless cousins.

Saying “no” to addictions opens the door to beauty.

2. Gazing builds a beautiful marriage

A recent vacation to Cancun reminds me of the beauty in gazing.

We don’t glance at beauty. We gaze.

Gazing takes time. Gazing means being present with appreciation and love.

Gazing means seeing your spouse as God sees you, very special and unique.

A beautiful marriage steers between two banks.

Rigidity and chaos.

Lock in the middle of the river and steer toward beauty every day.

3. Soothers celebrate marriage

Nothing satisfies desire like an honest answer to the questions . . .

• Where am I?
• Who am I with?

My favorite carpe diem passage in the Bible sums up successful living.

“Go then, eat your bread in happiness and drink your wine with a cheerful heart; for God has already approved your works. Let your clothes be white all the time, and let not oil be lacking on your head. Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might . . .” Ecclesiastes 9: 7-10

A beautiful marriage in a hollow world requires tending.

It requires “all your might.”

Be fruitful with God’s gifts.

Among them are . . .

• family
• work
• food
• wine
• clothing

If we fumble these, we miss the rewards God has for us.

Soothers tend gifts wisely for the best time in life.

How do you cook up a good marriage?