How to Choose Joy When Your Past Says Shame

Rebekah Charleston was stuck in a life of shame and sex trafficking for ten years.

But, everything changed when she made a new decision.

Shame survivor Rebekah Charleston
Sex trafficking survivor Rebekah Charleston/Las Vegas Review Journal

You can take life in a beautiful direction at any moment.

Just answer three questions.

Question #1:  What choices do I really have?

Folks are stuck in shame largely because they are numb to choices.

Rebekah Charleston was emotionally stuck by . . .

  • her brother’s suicide when she was 5
  • her family’s chaos over his death
  • being raped twice before 17

So, she drops out of school, runs from her family and finds friends with drugs.

She spends the next ten years being abused and sex trafficked all over the U.S.

“It was horrific, the intense physical abuse, the verbal and emotional abuse which was almost more harmful because that’s psychological torture that you can’t get away from.  Black eyes go away, but that voice in your head doesn’t.”  Rebekah Charleston

Victims like Rebekah are paralyzed every day by fear, shame, and lies.

But, breakthrough happens when a victim asks life changing questions.

  • What if I refuse these bloodsucking vampires?
  • What other choices do I have?

This leads to another prison-shaking question.

Question #2:  Who can I really trust?

This isn’t easy because this world bleeds manipulators.

“I was sex trafficked all night.  And I worked every birthday, every holiday.”  Rebekah Charleston

Pile on 13 months in prison and a GED with multiple arrests and Rebekah had plenty of reasons to stay a sex slave.

But, the turning point came with a question.

“Who can I really trust?”

The question launched a new direction.

She drove from Las Vegas back to her roots in Texas.

Soon after, she visited Gateway Church engaging in worship and prayer.

A friend tells her about a group of ladies who want to help strippers.

That’s where she meets Carrie Gurley, the founder of Valiant Hearts.

Ending shame keeping faith
Carrie Gurley, Founder of Valiant Hearts/Vimeo

Valiant hearts helps women escape sex trafficking.

Following a recovery plan, Rebekah emerges from the mire.

Question #3:  How can I use this?

Today, Rebekah Charleston is the Executive Director of Valiant Hearts.

She takes a team every month to reach out to women working the strip joints.

They go in with wrapped gifts to show the girls an escape route from darkness.

I think Rebekah’s story is insightful because she turned her rescue into a career.

What a cool way to find meaningful work.

Whenever trauma has paralyzed me in a crisis, I’ve learned this question propels new direction often leading to rewarding answers.

What questions helped in your journey?

How to Choose Joy When Your Past Says Shame

2 thoughts on “How to Choose Joy When Your Past Says Shame

  1. Steve,
    Thank you for this article. This is the story of so many of the women who come to Homeward Bound. I can’t count the number of women who find a safe place in sobriety and a connection to a spiritual home. This is a hard story to tell – it is a harder story to live.

    1. Thank you for these thoughts Doug. I agree that the “harder story to live” comes in the striving. Meaning and hopes comes alive in suffering when we lean into the striving. Thank God when the striving leads us to peace, stability and healing in its various forms.

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