“Loneliness is the biggest reason folks are in therapy,” says my psychiatrist friend at a party.
She told me this after I asked her what maladies are haunting her clients today.
“Loneliness is tops,” she said.
“How old are your clients?”
“From 25 to early 40s. Some in their 50s.”
So, we chatted about three life-changing ideas for loneliness.
1. Loneliness flees faith
Days after the party, I saw the movie, Devotion, a true and inspiring story about rising above loss.
Jessie Brown, the first Black aviator in the U.S. Navy, found strength in spite of loneliness.
Loneliness caused by racism and rejection.
Instead, he overcame by believing in himself.
I would add, “faith in God and yourself.”
The fabulous song, Not Alone, by Joe Jonas at the end of the movie, says it all.
Another step on your own Another mile that you've flown And I've been right by your side There's so much more than you see Like the wind that blows through the trees Or the time that's passing by I see the tears, they rollin' down but they're not here to stay I know you're starin' at the clouds, tryna wish them away When you call the stars, know I'm callin' out your name You are not alone I watch over you Won't let you go, you gotta know, you're not alone You are not alone I watch over you Won't let you go, you gotta know, you're not alone I didn't give you the wings to not go fly And don't you know this ain't goodbye 'Cause everything I am is who you are Who you are Sometimes it hurt, don't know how to be here Sometimes you question if anything's real But you call the stars, you're callin' out my name You are not alone I watch over you Won't let you go, you gotta know, you're not alone You are not alone I watch over you Won't let you go, you gotta know, you're not alone
2. Loneliness flees fellowship
We are communal beings.
Humans crave and thrive on companionship.
That’s why walking meet-ups are sprouting everywhere in 2023.
Moms, school-buddies and prayer-walkers join to traverse . . .
- parks
- churches
- cityscapes
- neighborhoods
Joy and energy crank with every step together.
Consider a regular walking meet-up group as a must for mental and spiritual health.
“Turn your ‘SHOULDS’ into ‘MUSTS.'” Tony Robbins
3. Loneliness flees action
Dr. Julius Segal in his classic book, Winning Life’s Toughest Battles, implores us to take action.
There’s nothing like the next tiny step in overcoming loneliness.
The darker your hole, the more powerful the next tiny step (NTS).
NTS has made a profound impact on my life.
It helped me survive . . .
- business interruption
- divorce
- back pain
- neuropathy
. . . and ultimately, loneliness.
God doesn’t ask us to make impossible steps.
Just the next tiny step.
“The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.” Psalm 37:23-24
Loneliness flees faith, fellowship and motion.
How are you banishing loneliness in 2023?