The worst pain is the one you think you can’t survive.
Is physical pain worse than emotional pain?
Both are horrible, and either one can lead to depression.
But, a recent elevator ride triggered some clues for faster recovery.
Connectors survive extreme pain
“Are you here with a family member?” I asked the lady riding with me in the slow hospital elevator.
“Yes, my husband had back surgery Friday,” she said with a thin smile.
“My wife had back surgery, too.”
“The first 24 hours are rough,” I mumbled.
“Oh, I’m not the one in pain,” she said, smiling.
What? My ears were burning.
So, I blurted, “I’m an extension of my wife, and what happens to her happens to me.”
She just kept staring at me with this fake smile.
What a tragedy for this lady to be so disconnected from her husband at a heightened moment of suffering.
I’m convinced one has a better chance of overcoming the worst disaster by connecting with the right people, even when our closest relationships fail us.
If we don’t connect, we are vulnerable to . . .
- bad decisions
- prolonged suffering
Listeners find paths to healing
In the first minutes after Judy’s surgery, they took off the pain meds because her blood pressure dropped.
But, like a ray of light, a nurse tech named Raymond ended the nightmare.
Serene and clear, Raymond listened. He was attentive to Judy’s needs.
He understood a fact about pain that is often missed when suffering.
Pain is temporary if it is used as a journey to healing.
And then I got to thinking. Judy is a survivor because she is a listener!
She listened to Raymond and realized that pain lights a path to healing.
Thinkers find real solutions to pain
Raymond reminded us that pain only exists in a given moment.
Pain episodes like to scare us into thinking, “This will never end!”
But, thinkers don’t get scared quickly because they use their minds to overcome pain and other troubles.
A Scripture verse helped me dismiss the “pain will never end” myth.
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So, we fix our eyes, not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, for the seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” 2 Cor. 4:16-17
Moments fly away quickly, giving way to the next moment, which may or may not have the same pain.
So, a more remarkable ability to endure pain occurs when we understand pain does not exist in any other time than a moment.
Pain that plagues in this moment can leave in the next.
While Judy’s recovery took time, her pain changed moment by moment, and her body healed.
Connect, listen, and think through your crisis.
What?
Steve,
I really identify with this story/revelation!
Today the younger generation does not have the connector or engagement skills that we grew up with- so they will not be able to support the pain of others until they learn how to come out from behind their devices! A true challenge that we can help resolve.
Steve, There’s no doubt that many folks are caught in the perennial fidget to be connected! And I agree that this can be detrimental to face to face communication and real connection.