My dad is 94 and just recently took a turn for the worse with heart failure.
This is hard for me. Beside the rest of my family, dad is the most loving person I know.
My sister, Joy, is his caretaker and she called to tell me dad has fluid on his lungs.
They are running tests in the hospital.
I told her I’d be there right away and she said “just wait, they are running more tests. No need to come right now. Just check back tomorrow.”
Fishing reveals a secret about “true love”
After I hung up, I grabbed dad’s rod and reel and walked down to the dock.
Magnificent sunset.
77 degrees. No wind.
Dad gave me his rod and reel a few years ago.
An open face Ambassadeur.
It was his favorite when we fished together when I was a tyke using a childproof Zebco.
But, this day I’m facing dad’s mortality and I’m swimming with emotions wondering what it’ll be like without dad.
I stand at the very spot dad and I fished from just two years ago casting the rubber worm listening to the old reel wheeze like dad’s congestive heart failure.
Two geese swim by slowly with a cadre of ducks while the sun dips to water level lighting the lake in a blaze of orange and pink.
Right then my rod tip bends down to the water. I raise it high and set the hook like dad taught me. Oh my! He or she must be a nice one because the line is zigzagging through the mirrored waters.
I’m reeling like a mad man while the old Ambassadeur wheezes and slips.
40 seconds into the fight, the fish releases!
Just lets go.
A ton of emotions hit me.
I know dad will be letting go of me sooner than I want.
But, I don’t want to let him go.
“Letting go” is the key to true love
I had a flashback to the 2003 movie Big Fish.
The frustrated son in the movie is trying to sort through the difference between the facts and fiction in his relationship with his dying dad. He thinks his father doesn’t love him because he doesn’t “show it” the way he wants him to.
The difference between my dad and the dad in “Big Fish” is the way my father loved people in ways that let them be themselves. Let them go. Freed them up. “Let go” is the meaning behind the word “forgiveness” in the New Testament. To love, you must forgive. The opposite is to blame others. So, every misery in your life is everybody else’s fault. But, forgiveness sets you free and allows you to set everyone around you free.
“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains by itself alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” John 12:24
I guess the big fish I hooked forgave me!
The key to a loving future
On Father’s Day 2007, the Dallas Morning News ran a story I wrote about a unique experience dad and I had together entitled Make Dad Last Forever.
Whether or not I lose dad soon or later, I figured out how to make him last forever.
Every day you and I are making a movie and it’s our life for all the world to see.
We have time to add the qualities most admired about our fathers.
Five unmistakable qualities of a great man
My dad, Claude Blaising, lives the five qualities of a great man. Always.
“Be on your guard. Stand firm in the faith; be courageous, be strong. Do everything in love.” 1 Corinthians 16: 13-14.
- Watchful
- Steadfast
- Courageous
- Strong
- Loving
Even if your dad fell short, you have time to be the person you wished he was. And in doing that, you set yourself and everyone around you free.
God bless you in your journey of faith, hope and love.
Please share a thought or a quality most admired about your dad.
Thank you, Steve, for these touching and inspiring words. As a parent, I pray that I can be a positive influence on my children as your father had on you. He was obviously a very special man as his son is such a special man. Letting go won’t be easy, but his legacy goes on. God bless you.
Mary, dad would be touched and humbled by your comments. I certainly am. I have prayed for you and your family that your influence will make a permanent difference in their lives. Something tells me that will be the case for many years to come.
Steve , I loved your post and thoughts and it really brings back memories of my dad and time spent with him in his last months/years . I was at the Park Cities Quail fund raiser last Thrusday and the honoree this year was Tom Brokaw . In his acceptance speech he talked of his dad and the time they spent together hunting and fly fishing . This later inspired him to write his best seller The Greatest Generation . We are blessed to have dads that truly were the foundation of what shaped this country and unfortately as they leave us it seems like that foundation is slowly being eroded. Enjoy these last moments with your dad and my prays for all our aging parents has always been that when that time comes they pass peacefully with no pain or suffering surrounded by family and love ones .
Well said Jim. There is a level of courage seen in that generation that I hope we can live up to. Thanks for your comment.
Steve,
A beautifully written story of love and forgiveness. The Garcia reel brings back many memories of fishing with my father, who died when I was 20, and my grandfather. Both of them used the exact same fishing reel. Thank you for the memories.
Appreciate those thoughts Marc. I bet many readers have similar experiences.
Very nice Steve! I love your dad so much! I wish I could see him more. I know we get so wrapped up in our everyday lives I forget to communicate with family. If you need anything don’t hesitate to call. That goes for all my cousins. The pain goes away in time, but the memories will live on forever in our hearts. Love you guys!
Joe, thanks for those loving words.
Wonderful touching post.
Thank you Lauren for sharing that sentiment.
I embrace this expression of love you have for your Dad…… very well revealed in your words! Steve, you have those same wonderful qualities that your Dad has handed down to you and that you share with everyone. Thank you as a recipient!
Jim, I’m glad this story touches you as much as it does me and thank you for your kind thoughts.
Inspiring post, Steve.
Thank you Janice. All of us have stories of intensity during periods like this with our parents.