{"id":3651,"date":"2025-11-02T11:48:00","date_gmt":"2025-11-02T17:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/?p=3651"},"modified":"2025-11-02T11:46:56","modified_gmt":"2025-11-02T17:46:56","slug":"how-grief-unlocks-hidden-doors-to-peace-and-growth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/how-grief-unlocks-hidden-doors-to-peace-and-growth\/","title":{"rendered":"How Grief Unlocks Hidden Doors to Peace and Growth"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>I never expected grief to open the door to such magical visitations after I buried my parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m not superstitious.&nbsp; But, I believe the supernatural pokes into the everyday world in a wide variety of forms and places.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>An <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/unexpected-messenger-suddenly-appears-at-grave\/\">unexpected visitor<\/a> surprised me at my mother\u2019s grave nine years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image size-large wp-image-304\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"381\" src=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/Butterfly-foe-web-1024x381.jpg\" alt=\"Grief and magical places\" class=\"wp-image-304\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/Butterfly-foe-web-1024x381.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/Butterfly-foe-web-300x112.jpg 300w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/Butterfly-foe-web-768x286.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Grief can land us in magical places\/Steve Blaising\/Parents&#8217; gravestone, December 2016<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>But a very different visitor appeared to me days after my father died, the one whose image you see to the left on my parents&#8217; gravestone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I captured this moment on video.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p>Early morning, shortly after dad died,&nbsp;I settled onto our patio overlooking the lake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Was this dad dropping by to say hello?&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-vimeo wp-block-embed-vimeo wp-embed-aspect-9-16 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Buck visitation October 2018\" src=\"https:\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/1132931526?dnt=1&amp;app_id=122963\" width=\"557\" height=\"990\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; fullscreen; picture-in-picture; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\"><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Was God sending a buck, dad&#8217;s favorite creature in the world, to comfort me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I think so.  It felt too timely to be mere coincidence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I believe God used this deer to illustrate three keys for a <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/grab-3-treats-for-a-magical-life\/\">magical life<\/a> even during grief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And when these keys are kept in balance, the future shines bright even while mourning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\" id=\"h-1-nbsp-grief-finds-strength-in-valleys\"><strong>1<\/strong>.&nbsp; Grief finds strength in valleys<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Usually, the rack gets my attention when I see a buck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But, this time, I watch his feet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>His steady gait reminds me of this verse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><strong>\u201cIt is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.&nbsp; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights.\u201d<\/strong> Psalm 18:32ff<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>The \u201cheights\u201d are the magical places of love and victory in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But, it\u2019s the well-formed hooves from traversing the valleys that take us to heights.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s not enough to picture the heights.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Picture the purpose of valleys, as they build the grief muscle that carries you to higher ground.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Use the strength carved in valleys to reach and savor the heights.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\" id=\"h-2-hold-relationships-together\">2.  Hold relationships together<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>My dad\u2019s last words to me were indicative of his character.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019ve got to hold it together.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hold family together.&nbsp; Hold friends together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Not <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/ok-time-is-short-how-to-use-it-for-the-most-satisfying-life\/\">grudges<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>People.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Love is not just the first step.&nbsp; It\u2019s the first, central and last step.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><strong>\u201cThe question to ask at the end of life\u2019s race is not so much \u2018What have I accomplished?\u2019 but \u2018Whom have I loved, and how courageously?\u2019\u201d<\/strong> Geoff Gorsuch, \u201cJourney to Adelphos\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\" id=\"h-3-grief-can-open-the-door-to-faith\">3.  Grief can open the door to faith<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Never despair.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"269\" height=\"188\" src=\"http:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/Antony-Flew.jpg\" alt=\"Magical places and faith\" class=\"wp-image-3684\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s a great time and age for authentic faith.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Antony Flew, the great atheist, dropped a bombshell in 2004.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>His works set the agenda for modern atheism for 5 decades.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But then he announced he was wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><strong>\u201cWhat I think the DNA material has done is show that intelligence must have been involved in getting these extraordinarily diverse elements together.\u201d&nbsp;<\/strong> Antony Flew<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>He concluded there is no gradual formulation of intelligence in . . .<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>the laws of physics<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>DNA<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>language<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>energy<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s all there from the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Before he died, the philosopher said that if admirers are upset then . . .<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><strong>\u201cThat\u2019s too bad.&nbsp; My whole life has been guided by the principle of Plato\u2019s Socrates:&nbsp; Follow the evidence wherever it leads.\u201d&nbsp; <\/strong>Antony Flew<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Maybe he would have saved a lifetime of unbelief by watching the animals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><strong>\u201cAll creatures look to you to give them their food at the proper time. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are satisfied with good things. When you hide your face, they are terrified; when you take away their breath, they die and return to the dust. When you send your Spirit, they are created, and you renew the face of the ground.\u201d<\/strong>&nbsp; Psalm 104:27-30<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Picture the faith and strength built in valleys and let&#8217;s travel to new heights together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>How have valleys made your grief muscle strong?<\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I never expected grief to open the door to such magical visitations after I buried my parents. I\u2019m not superstitious.&nbsp; But, I believe the supernatural pokes into the everyday world in a wide variety of forms and places. An unexpected visitor surprised me at my mother\u2019s grave nine years ago. But a very different visitor [&hellip;]<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"cos_headline_score":0,"cos_seo_score":0,"cos_headline_text":"How Grief Unlocks Hidden Doors to Peace and Growth","cos_headline_has_been_analyzed":false,"cos_last_analyzed_headline":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[74],"tags":[112],"class_list":["post-3651","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-grief","tag-endurance"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.1 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How Grief Unlocks Hidden Doors to Peace and Growth - Steve Blaising<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Discover how grief can open doors to magical places of hope, healing, and wonder\u2014before, during, and after loss.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/how-grief-unlocks-hidden-doors-to-peace-and-growth\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How Grief Unlocks Hidden Doors to Peace and Growth\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Discover how grief can open doors to magical places of hope, healing, and wonder\u2014before, during, and after loss.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/how-grief-unlocks-hidden-doors-to-peace-and-growth\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Steve Blaising\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-11-02T17:48:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/Butterfly-foe-web-1024x381.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1024\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"381\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Steve Blaising\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Steve Blaising\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/how-grief-unlocks-hidden-doors-to-peace-and-growth\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/how-grief-unlocks-hidden-doors-to-peace-and-growth\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Steve Blaising\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/40a659701b6bed01005bdbf57f264c20\"},\"headline\":\"How Grief Unlocks Hidden Doors to Peace and Growth\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-11-02T17:48:00+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/how-grief-unlocks-hidden-doors-to-peace-and-growth\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":657,\"commentCount\":2,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/40a659701b6bed01005bdbf57f264c20\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/how-grief-unlocks-hidden-doors-to-peace-and-growth\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2016\\\/11\\\/Butterfly-foe-web-1024x381.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Endurance\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Grief\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/how-grief-unlocks-hidden-doors-to-peace-and-growth\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/how-grief-unlocks-hidden-doors-to-peace-and-growth\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/how-grief-unlocks-hidden-doors-to-peace-and-growth\\\/\",\"name\":\"How Grief Unlocks Hidden Doors to Peace and Growth - 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