{"id":297,"date":"2023-12-03T09:50:00","date_gmt":"2023-12-03T15:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/?p=297"},"modified":"2026-03-24T17:40:06","modified_gmt":"2026-03-24T22:40:06","slug":"free-falling-grief-in-the-holidays-embrace-the-warmth-that-heals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/free-falling-grief-in-the-holidays-embrace-the-warmth-that-heals\/","title":{"rendered":"Free-falling grief in the holidays?  Embrace the warmth that heals"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Grief piles up for many in the holidays.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Recently, our senior pastor at Highland Park Presbyterian Church, Bryan Dunagan, died at age 44. His wife, Ali, and three children grieve a sudden loss as the holidays begin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Just a few weeks later, another rising star, Jack Gibbons, age 36, co-founder of Bandera Ventures, died in a neighborhood auto accident, leaving behind his wife, Sarah, and their two-year-old daughter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sudden tragedies are like free-falling.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image size-large wp-image-322\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" src=\"http:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/freefalling-all-optimized-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"Free-falling sorrow\" class=\"wp-image-322\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/freefalling-all-optimized-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/freefalling-all-optimized-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/freefalling-all-optimized-768x512.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Free-falling grief\/Oliver Furrer\/Getty images<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>How do family members survive?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p>And, why does God allow tragedy . . .<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>to mold holidays into brutal loss? <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>to touch future holidays with sadness?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>That&#8217;s why we need more Christmas, not less.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Christmas came not to drown our sorrows, but to bear them. And then, transform them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><sup>\u201c<\/sup>The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a <strong>light has dawned<\/strong>.\u201d<br>\u2014 Isaiah 9:2<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Where is this light in the <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/how-to-invite-god-into-your-gloomy-dark-suffering\/#more-2950\">darkness<\/a>?\u00a0 How can families like the Dunagans and Gibbons find strength?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\" id=\"h-1-light-for-your-grief\"><mark style=\"background-color:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0)\" class=\"has-inline-color has-black-color\">1. Light for your grief<\/mark><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>They need power. God&nbsp;is profoundly powerful in darkness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his. He changes times and seasons; he deposes kings and raises up others. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. <strong>He reveals deep and hidden things;<\/strong> he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him.\u201d<br>\u2014 Dan 2:20-22<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He knows what lies in darkness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Death of a child?&nbsp; Yes.&nbsp; He knows.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Horrific loss of a spouse?&nbsp; Yes.&nbsp; He knows.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>He knows depth.&nbsp; He knows chasm.  &#8220;He knows what lies in darkness.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So, he meets us there.  He stays with us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He is Lord over the abyss of unknowns, and He invites us to bring our despair and cleave to Him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you; <strong>your right hand upholds me<\/strong>.&#8221;<br>\u2014 Psa 63:6-8<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\" id=\"h-2-company-for-your-grief\"><mark style=\"background-color:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0)\" class=\"has-inline-color has-black-color\">2. Company for your grief<\/mark><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left\">There&#8217;s no better company to comfort your grief than Jesus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Terror and tragedy stalked his family from the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p> Days after he was born, Jesus . . .<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>was targeted for murder by Herod<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>escaped to Egypt as a refugee<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-gallery has-nested-images columns-default is-cropped wp-block-gallery-1 is-layout-flex wp-block-gallery-is-layout-flex\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"745\" data-id=\"13855\" src=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Flight-into-Egypt-1024x745.jpg\" alt=\"Grief surviving in Egypt\" class=\"wp-image-13855\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Flight-into-Egypt-1024x745.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Flight-into-Egypt-300x218.jpg 300w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Flight-into-Egypt-768x559.jpg 768w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Flight-into-Egypt.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Jesus&#8217; escape to Egypt\/James Tissot<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"745\" data-id=\"13856\" src=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Sojourn-in-Egypt-1024x745.jpg\" alt=\"Grief as a refugee\" class=\"wp-image-13856\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Sojourn-in-Egypt-1024x745.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Sojourn-in-Egypt-300x218.jpg 300w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Sojourn-in-Egypt-768x559.jpg 768w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Sojourn-in-Egypt.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">The sojourn in Egypt\/James Tissot<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Where is God in death and suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Right here with you and me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>How do we survive this?  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We need great power.  Power that brings us through darkness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\" id=\"h-3-power-in-your-grief\"><mark style=\"background-color:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0)\" class=\"has-inline-color has-black-color\">3. Power in your grief<\/mark><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Where do we find this power?  How do we tap into it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Imagine, with me, for a minute, that we are with the magi back at their home. They have just returned from their amazing journey and are visiting their friends at the Caspian Country Club.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-gallery has-nested-images columns-default is-cropped wp-block-gallery-2 is-layout-flex wp-block-gallery-is-layout-flex\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" data-id=\"13872\" src=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/The-Maji-Journeying-James-Tissot-1024x682.jpg\" alt=\"Magi journeying\" class=\"wp-image-13872\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/The-Maji-Journeying-James-Tissot-1024x682.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/The-Maji-Journeying-James-Tissot-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/The-Maji-Journeying-James-Tissot-768x511.jpg 768w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/The-Maji-Journeying-James-Tissot.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">The magi journeying\/James Tissot<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"577\" data-id=\"3777\" src=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/A-Pompeian-Country-Club-go-1024x577.jpg\" alt=\"gifts at country club\" class=\"wp-image-3777\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/A-Pompeian-Country-Club-go-1024x577.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/A-Pompeian-Country-Club-go-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/A-Pompeian-Country-Club-go-768x433.jpg 768w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/A-Pompeian-Country-Club-go.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Ancient country club<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>They go to the &#8220;19th Hole&#8221; to catch up with their buddies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Their friends ask where they&#8217;d been and what they&#8217;d done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWe had a fantastic time!&nbsp; It was just unbelievable!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cTell us about it!&nbsp; You went to see a King!&nbsp; Tell us about his palace!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They looked at each other with that smile that goes on between people who\u2019ve shared an experience that\u2019s hard to put into words, \u201cWell, to tell you the truth, it\u2019s kind of hard to describe it, uh\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWell, was it a big house? What was it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cNo\u2026to tell you the truth\u2026it was uh\u2026well we gotta be honest with you, it was a stable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cA stable?&nbsp; You mean the king was out there looking at his horses?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cOh no, he lived there.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cA king in a stable?&nbsp; Well, he must have been impressive in some other way to legitimize this kingship. Tell us about his mind, his accomplishments, his possessions!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s a little difficult to describe\u2026but he was a baby.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cA baby?&nbsp; He must have remarkable parents!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cOh, there\u2019s a problem there, too.&nbsp; Uh, we\u2019re not sure about that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYou mean to tell us\u2026I mean, we\u2019re your friends.&nbsp; We\u2019ve known you guys forever!&nbsp; You traveled thousands of miles, two years to get there and back, and you gave gold, frankincense, and myrrh to a baby in a stable?&nbsp; You\u2019re crazy!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And they looked at each other and said, \u201cWell, you just had to be there.&nbsp; It didn\u2019t bother us that it was a stable or a baby.&nbsp; There was\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>light<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>warmth<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>and power like we&#8217;d never experienced before.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\" id=\"h-4-the-battery-to-make-it-all-work\"><mark style=\"background-color:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0)\" class=\"has-inline-color has-black-color\">4. The battery to make it all work<\/mark><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Invite <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/urgent-investment-the-best-move-to-make-right-now\/\">God<\/a> into your trauma this season.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bring your <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/how-to-hope-in-the-middle-of-any-crisis\/\">despair<\/a> to God and ask for his power to carry you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" src=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/Bethlehem-iStock-133976176--1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"Sunrise over grief Bethlehem\" class=\"wp-image-2290\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/Bethlehem-iStock-133976176--1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/Bethlehem-iStock-133976176--300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/Bethlehem-iStock-133976176--768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/Bethlehem-iStock-133976176-.jpg 1254w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Sunrise over Bethlehem<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Please share privately any way I can pray for you this season at steve@steveblaising.com.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Stories like this are part of the reflections I write about life, resilience, and human turning points explored on my <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/about-stephen-blaising\/\">About Stephen Blaising<\/a><\/strong> page.<\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Grief piles up for many in the holidays. Recently, our senior pastor at Highland Park Presbyterian Church, Bryan Dunagan, died at age 44. His wife, Ali, and three children grieve a sudden loss as the holidays begin. Just a few weeks later, another rising star, Jack Gibbons, age 36, co-founder of Bandera Ventures, died in [&hellip;]<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"cos_headline_score":0,"cos_seo_score":0,"cos_headline_text":"Free-falling grief in the holidays?  Embrace the warmth that heals","cos_headline_has_been_analyzed":true,"cos_last_analyzed_headline":{"last_headline_score":80,"last_headline_text":"Free-falling grief in the holidays?  Embrace the warmth that heals","last_seo_score":54},"footnotes":""},"categories":[74,46],"tags":[75,47,48],"class_list":["post-297","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-grief","category-sorrow","tag-grief","tag-sorrow","tag-tragedy"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.1 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Free-falling grief in the holidays? 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