{"id":10070,"date":"2022-04-25T12:48:57","date_gmt":"2022-04-25T17:48:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/?p=10070"},"modified":"2023-04-23T16:55:49","modified_gmt":"2023-04-23T21:55:49","slug":"three-things-to-ponder-when-a-good-friend-suddenly-dies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/three-things-to-ponder-when-a-good-friend-suddenly-dies\/","title":{"rendered":"Three things to ponder when a good friend suddenly dies"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>When a spouse or good friend suddenly dies, there&#8217;s shock, disbelief and loss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That happened to me a few weeks ago when I received an unexpected text at a Saturday lunch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1004\" src=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/Palter-resized-1024x1004.jpg\" alt=\"good friend suddenly dies\" class=\"wp-image-10075\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/Palter-resized-1024x1004.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/Palter-resized-300x294.jpg 300w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/Palter-resized-768x753.jpg 768w, https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/Palter-resized.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption><mark style=\"background-color:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0)\" class=\"has-inline-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-color\">Good friend John Palter, 62, suddenly dies during bike ride<\/mark><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>My good friend John Palter, age 62, had just died during a morning bike ride in Dallas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>His sudden departure leaves me in a reflective state about priorities, purpose and commitment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-heading\">Ponder the most important rule of life<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Every memory I have of John is family first.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He modeled love and grace the way he held up his family and friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;m measuring myself right now with John.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Do I prioritize time for the most important relationships on earth?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>John loved . . .<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>God<\/li><li>family<\/li><li>friends<\/li><li>community<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>. . . and he served his law clients with excellence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Losing a friend like John has frozen my attention on the rule of love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Love is not the path to ideal.  It is the ideal.<\/li><li>Love is the rule for all our choices.<\/li><li>If love is not right, then everything else goes wrong.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-heading\">Ponder your purpose <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The love rule got me thinking about how critical it is to <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/reinvent-yourself-for-a-brighter-future-in-4-steps\/\">define one&#8217;s purpose<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Like an artist who does a pencil sketch before oils, we should sketch a likeness of the person we want to be.  Then, we spend the rest of our lives painting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>John was a fine example of how to do this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Be first a kind, honest and selfless father, husband and friend.<\/li><li>Dedicate professional pursuits to improve the lives of clients.<\/li><li>Don&#8217;t just believe in God.  Believe God.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Once the likeness is clear, then the next but hardest quality of all is the discipline to make it happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-heading\">Ponder your commitment<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Recently, I watched the movie, <em>Selma<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I listened to King&#8217;s speech calling for the highest level of commitment to reverse injustice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Where did he find such commitment?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The world didn&#8217;t deliver his life purpose neatly wrapped in a package.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He managed his pain and suffering to chisel out his purpose into a movement for change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>John approached his law practice the same way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He studied and strategized how the law could repair injustices suffered by clients.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Perhaps <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/3-gigantic-rewards-of-saying-no-retreat\/(opens in a new tab)\">commitment<\/a> is juiced by suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Harvard professor, entrepreneur, and author Clayton Christensen topped his 1997 best-selling<em> The Innovator&#8217;s Dilemma<\/em> when he wrote, <em>How Will You Measure Your Life<\/em>, after contracting cancer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In spite of reaching superstar status as a management guru, he concluded in his last book . . .<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><strong>&#8221; . . . the only metrics that will truly matter to my life are the individuals whom I have been able to help, one by one, to become better people.  When I have my interview with God, our conversation will focus on the individuals whose self-esteem I was able to strengthen, whose faith I was able to reinforce, and whose discomfort I was able to assuage.  These are the metrics that matter in measuring my life.&#8221;<\/strong>  Clayton M. Christensen, <em>How Will You Measure Your Life<\/em>, p. 204<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>How will you measure yours?<\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When a spouse or good friend suddenly dies, there&#8217;s shock, disbelief and loss. That happened to me a few weeks ago when I received an unexpected text at a Saturday lunch. My good friend John Palter, age 62, had just died during a morning bike ride in Dallas. His sudden departure leaves me in a [&hellip;]<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"cos_headline_score":0,"cos_seo_score":0,"cos_headline_text":"","cos_headline_has_been_analyzed":false,"cos_last_analyzed_headline":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[152,58],"tags":[59],"class_list":["post-10070","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-death","category-purpose","tag-purpose"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.1 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Three things to ponder when a good friend suddenly dies - Steve Blaising<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When a loved one or good friend suddenly dies, ponder three essentials for grief, healing and recovery for a bright future.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/three-things-to-ponder-when-a-good-friend-suddenly-dies\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Three things to ponder when a good friend suddenly dies\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When a loved one or good friend suddenly dies, ponder three essentials for grief, healing and recovery for a bright future.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/three-things-to-ponder-when-a-good-friend-suddenly-dies\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Steve Blaising\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-04-25T17:48:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-04-23T21:55:49+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/blog.steveblaising.com\/content\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/Palter-resized-1024x1004.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Steve Blaising\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Steve Blaising\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/three-things-to-ponder-when-a-good-friend-suddenly-dies\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/three-things-to-ponder-when-a-good-friend-suddenly-dies\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Steve Blaising\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/40a659701b6bed01005bdbf57f264c20\"},\"headline\":\"Three things to ponder when a good friend suddenly dies\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-04-25T17:48:57+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-04-23T21:55:49+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/three-things-to-ponder-when-a-good-friend-suddenly-dies\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":512,\"commentCount\":12,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/40a659701b6bed01005bdbf57f264c20\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/three-things-to-ponder-when-a-good-friend-suddenly-dies\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/Palter-resized-1024x1004.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Purpose\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Death\",\"Purpose\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/three-things-to-ponder-when-a-good-friend-suddenly-dies\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/three-things-to-ponder-when-a-good-friend-suddenly-dies\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blog.steveblaising.com\\\/content\\\/three-things-to-ponder-when-a-good-friend-suddenly-dies\\\/\",\"name\":\"Three things to ponder when a good friend suddenly dies - 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